With four beautiful children and a rock-solid marriage, sexy actress,
Omotola Jalaide- Ekeide, is a success story, especially in an area where some
of her contemporaries and colleagues have failed miserably – the matrimonial
department .She is one of the few actresses who have successfully combined the
rigors and excruciating schedule of acting while keeping the home front stable
and happy.
She has been married to her pilot husband – Mr. Ekeide-for over a
decade, and the union is still defined by love and deep feeling of affection.
Not for her has been the usual drama of rumored infidelity and emotional
backstabbing that seem to define relationships and marriages in Nollywood. Of
all the scoops and tips on Nollywood’s shenanigans that we are daily deluged with,
none has ever been linked to Omotola.
When the sexy actress visited New York sometime ago, and, at a reception
I had arranged for her at the TROPICAL GRILL Restaurant/Lounge York, I informed
her that I would love to have an honest and candid interview with her, with the
sole purpose of finding out what has been the source of her martial success and
the challenges she may have faced remaining true to her values, and vows in an
industry where such vows are sacrificed at the altar of conspicuous consumption
edged on by the rich and the powerful who regard popular actresses as trophy
acquisitions.
I told Omotola that my interview with her was going to be decidedly
different – it was going to dwell primarily on her personal life and nothing
else – a declaration she had enthusiastically agreed to. “Thank God it is going
to be different from all those hackneyed and generic line of questionnaire I
have been used to”, she told me as we sat in her hotel room.
I started by asking her what had been the secret of her success in
marriage. “I have been favored by the Lord”, she began. “I am truly blessed to
have been married to one-of-a-kind husband who appreciates what I do,
encourages me to excel in my craft. Let me tell you this: I take my marriage
very seriously. If you treat your marriage with levity and careless abandon,
you will reap the reward for such bad behavior. My husband is an angel, brought
by God to my life, and it has been a blessing having him as my husband.”
As one of the most desirable and sexy actresses in Nollywood and knowing
how persistent men of power and influence can get in wanting to have
celebrities as trophy lovers, I asked Omotola if she had received material
things from men who ran after her. “Sure, I have received lots of goodies from
my male admirers,”she deadpanned. So what gives – what is the qui pro-quo?
“Nothing”, she replied. “I do not give anything in return. I always tell them
that I am married and would not compromise my martial vows. If after making
that point clear, they still continue to shower me with gifts, maybe believing
that something will break in the future, then I cannot help them.”
Asked if she had ever met men that she genuinely took a liking to, and
was tempted to sacrifice her marital vows, she answered: “Absolutely. I have
been tempted many times to cheat on my husband by men I really liked. But when
you think of what you stand to lose, the destruction of all you have labored to
build, when you weigh all the options, you are left to conclude that it is not
worth the trouble. I know some women will find this somewhat objectionable, but
if they want to be truthful to themselves, they will agree with me that, as
married women, we have all faced moments that I have just described.”
Do you feel emotionally detached as a result of many years of marriage
or, put differently, has your passion for your husband cooled with time?, I
asked. “Of course, it has”, she said matter-of-factly. “Which married woman who
has been with her husband for years will, in her true state, tell you that the
feeling has remained the same as it was the first time or the first year she
met her husband? It is bound to cool off. What I recommend to women is what I
call “temporary separation.” You will make yourself unavailable to your
husband. Go somewhere – go on vacation with your friends, do something bold,
lose weight, look different and, after weeks, come home, looking drop dead
gorgeous, and I bet you, the fire of passion will be mightily rekindled and you
will feel brand new again. I have applied this principle in my marriage
and it has worked wonders.”
Asked if the desire to rekindle her passion was responsible for the huge
weight loss that is very noticeable about her, she countered. “You have to love
yourself first. I do not see the weight loss you are talking about, “she said
smiling as if to say, “Yes, I did it and I love the way I look.”Omotola went on
to advise women that they “should learn to appreciate the fact that you can
live without anyone” and that the “world would not come crashing on you if you
did so. I think women should empower themselves while still remaining true to
their marriage and husbands. If a marriage is stressful, emotionally
destructive, I think we should be strong enough to walk away from such damaging
unions.”
Asked to confirm the widely held notion that she is difficult to work
with, she answered
emphatically, “Yes, I am difficult. It depends on who I am dealing with. If you
are not focused, I bet you, I will be your nightmare. People who are
professional about what they do, have no problems with me.” Congratulations, Ini Akpabio
Ini Akpabio, Group Managing Director of Nanet Hotels, Abuja, was last Tuesday,
invested with the title of Political Leader of Akwa Ibom community in the
Federal Capital Territory. Here’s wishing him fruitful days ahead.
Congratulations my brother!
Next week:
How infidelity and emotional abuse have turned wives against husbands and
husbands against wives in the Nigerian Diaspora community in the United States.
The pathetic case of a Nigerian nurse whose affair was leaked on internet with
video to boot. Now, on a suicide watch, her story will make you cry.
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